40 years of faulty wiring

Is Sex Addiction Real?

woman-in-tubSexual addiction, also known as hypersexuality, is a puzzling concept. Is it an excuse for people to engage in numerous sexual encounters with reckless disregard for their own health and that of others, or is it an actual disorder that is beyond a person’s control? I’ve always been a skeptic. What a convenient way to explain one’s philandering to a spouse. And from 1990 – into the 21st century it seems we have to developed the “it’s not my fault, it’s a disorder” mentality to escape responsibility for irresponsible behaviour.

To wit, the infamous incident where Mel Gibson was arrested or drunk driving and made slanderous comments against Jews. Later his explanation to the public was that his comments were “blurted out in a moment of insanity.” Does alcohol impairment qualify as insanity? To be sure, Gibson was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder some time before the incident, however if he was (presumably) in treatment, what was the impetus for the insanity claim?

However I digress. This is about sexual addiction not Gibson and his drunken rant about Jews. I compared the definition of a general addiction to that of sexual addiction in order to highlight similarities and differences between the two:


  • is a state characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences
  • is marked by two properties that characterize all addictive stimuli:
    • they are reinforcing (i.e., person will seek repeated exposure to them)
    • and intrinsically rewarding (i.e., something perceived as being positive or desirable

Sexual Addiction

  • people who report being unable to control their sexual urges, behaviors, or thoughts
  •  some specialists do not believe sexual addiction exists as a clinical entity (it isn’t in the DSM 5)
  • No diagnostic proposal for sex addiction has been adopted into any official government diagnostic manual
  • There are two models that are used to classify SA, with the following model being the most similar to the characteristics of drug addictions, in that SA is both
    • reinforcing and
    • rewarding

anna-chapman-maxim-russia-02In spite of the findings that no government diagnostic manual classifies sexual addiction as an entity, and many psychiatric specialists do not believe in sexual addiction, community groups exist that consist of twelve-step programs for sex addiction, and clinical treatment. Such programs include Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and others. That “sex addicts” attend these groups suggests they do feel overwhelmed by their sexual impulses and are intent on controlling them. That sounds a lot like a drug or gambling addictions.

The thing about SA that makes me skeptical is that sexual addiction meets the criteria for an addiction because it is “reinforcing and rewarding.” No kidding. But picking up a bottle of alcohol and drinking it alone, or putting a needle in your arm, compared to the intimate, premeditated act of engaging in sex with another person are very different behaviours. Perhaps two other labels for this behaviour are playboy and philanderer. The drug addictions I understand. The jury’s out on SA.

Do people exhibit paraphilia-related disorders in terms of their sexual behaviour? They certainly do: fetishes, BDSM, nymphomania, Don Juaniam, uncontrollable sexual thoughts, voyeurism, exhibition, and many more are proof of paraphilia-related disorders. However it is proven that many of these behaviours aren’t genetic as in the case of drug and alcohol addictions; they are learned.

For instance, the adult who engages in masochism was once a childhood victim of a parent’s extreme abuse, followed by remorse and affection for the abuse. In this manner, the child developed the concept that pain and love were inseparable. As an adult, the two result in sexual arousal. James Dean is a famous example of a masochist although information supporting this allegation tends to be obscure.

Sexual sadism is expressed in two different ways: with mutual consent between the “victim” and the sadist; non-consensual sadism resulting in injury or death. Mild sadism involves role play, in which the two participants agree beforehand on which acts are acceptable. This is another reason why I believe SA is unlikely. This isn’t compulsive or out of control. It is very much in control of the “sadist.” The behaviour is within the sadist’s control, unlike the characteristics of drug, alcohol and gambling addictions.

Voyeurism – this is a complex form of sexual behavior. Often voyeurs are comorbid with drug and alcohol addictions which is a rarity among people with other paraphilias. Also, pornography can significantly decrease the incidence of voyeurism, which suggests to me that such an easy substitute does indeed suggest that voyeurism is an act that is well within the voyeur’s control.

640px-Marilyn_Monroe_-_publicityExhibitionism – the flip side of the voyeurism coin, exhibitionists like to expose their genitalia, buttocks or genitals to unsuspecting victims. This is non-consensual and is usually meant to elicit a distressed reaction or an amused reaction from strangers and acquaintances. Marilyn Monroe is a famous example of an exhibitionist. Her famous skirt scene, where her skirt flies up over her head during a publicity stunt in New York City, is an example of her exhibitionism. Also Monroe was known to walk around her house naked even in front of guests.
Exhibitionism is generally one of the least harmful of all sexual paraphilias. And evidence of self-control stems from the ability for many “exhibitionists” to merely fantasize about exhibitionism, rather than engaging in the act. Exclusive exhibitionists: These offenders cannot form romantic relationships and cannot engage in normal sexual intercourse. Exhibitionism is the sole outlet for sexual gratification. Oddly, exclusive exhibitionists haven’t been diagnosed, but based on the theory of paraphilic equivalence, clinicians believe it can be predicted that these exhibitionists do exist in society.

Autoerotic Asphyxiation Disorder – , also known as hypoxiphilia, is a form of masochism. It is almost exclusively practiced by males. It consists of using some means of cutting of one’s oxygen supply, often through ligature strangulation, as a means of achieving orgasm. It is a very dangerous practice. The behaviour that results from intense and recurring fantasies or sexual urges over at least six months must cause significant clinical stress and/or impairment (social, occupational, other) in order to receive this diagnosis. Although some males experiment with it only periodically, the majority of men who engage in this behaviour do so on a regular basis. Sometimes AAD practitioners have otherwise healthy sexual relationships. There is no comorbidity with mental or personality. Although cures are possible, few people are motivated to cease the behaviour, although this is within their control. A famous example of this phenomenon was Michael Hutchence, the lead singer of the 1980’s rock band INXS, who accidentally asphyxiated himself to death through AAD. A fictional example of this behaviour was included in the Robin Williams’ film Worlds Greatest Dad.

List of Famous Sexual Addicts (if you believe in SA)

  • John F Kennedy
  • Tiger Woods
  • Donald Trump
  • David Duchovny
  • Jesse James (no, not the gun slinger)
  • Charlie Sheen
  • Kanye West
  • Michael Douglas
  • Billy Bob Thornton
  • Kari Anne Paniche
  • Jenny Ketcham
  • Jenna Jameson
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Brittany Spears (oops she did it again)
  • James Lovett

Frankly, I think most of these people have sex with lots of people because they can, not because their behaviour is out of their control. It’s the wealth, prestige and fame that gives them access to countless sexual flings, whereas the lack of the aforementioned would likely limit their partners – and their behaviours.



August 18, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

I Like Lions

lionNope not whichever sports team you’re thinking about. I love all big cats actually as I love all animals. The thing about big cats that breaks my heart however is that they are slowly going extinct. Can you believe that? In 2011 The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service officially declared the Eastern Cougar as extinct.

National Geographic has a Big Cats Initiative and inside that, all kinds of projects for kids, schools, families, individuals who are interested in getting involved in some manner to save Big Cats (it doesn’t have to involve money).

Here’s the link.

One of the easiest ways to promote NG’s BCI is to spread the word via social media. So here it is.

July 4, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Male Perspective on Marriage

Before the commitment and before the ring goes on, I mean to say. I was reading a very good book, something about Why Men Marry Bitches, by Sherry Argov. I can’t say I agree with absolutely everything Argov had to say, but there were definitely some pearls in that read.

427019_423163144403363_622903893_nThe one chapter that really stands out for me however isn’t just one that offers women a male’s eye view of how women supposedly pressure a man to make a commitment, she does so with a humour I can’t forget. I don’t remember which chapter it was, but this one killed me (it’s not word for word since I can’t find the chapter now):

Ladies, imagine if you started dating a man you barely knew and you discovered he had a hope chest with pretty ribbons all over it (what), filled with all kinds of treasures a new groom could want to start his new life with his new bride. Then picture yourself walking along with this man you’ve known for about 6 weeks and every time he sees an infant he sighs loudly and grips your arm. Now one day, picture yourself coming home and he’s in his silk boxer shorts and cowboy boots, swinging around a pole and doing a strip tease. Would that make you want to commit to him?

The image of a guy wearing shiny boxers, swinging around a pole like an idiot with a serious look on his face, no inkling that this might be a bizarre scene for anyone walking through the door made me guffaw. Of all the scenarios she painted there, that one stood out for me the most. You really can see the male point of view about marriage and ambiguity.

Well, that’s it.

May 26, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

the Marquis de Sade and Social Media

Have you noticed lately what a plethora of sexual opportunity exists on the internet? Cell phones, email and social media have made it easier than ever for people to hook up for a hot sexual tryst then never meet again. It’s not that this is a recent phenomenon in human behavior of course. Sexual promiscuity has been a part of civilization since, well, the dawn of civilization. What is it about that innate need (or want?) that drives so many people to hook up, role play, make empty promises they never intend to keep, then go their separate ways? Especially in an era of HIV and many other sexually transmittable diseases, that seems like crazy behaviour, even to people who indulge in it, I’m sure.

Clearly, physical pleasure has a great deal to do with human desire but there is a difference in promiscuity and perhaps, oh I don’t know, remaining faithful to one’s spouse whilst engaging in pornography in one’s spare time, or fantasizing about the neighbor whilst having sex. There’s also the old stand-by masturbation. However, for a fairly significant percentage of the population this just doesn’t cut it anymore. If it ever did. What has increased the amount of illicit sexual contact among people quite arguably is social media and the internet. The fetishes and ravenous sexual desires haven’t increased, just the availability of partners.

Consider the biography of the Marquis de Sade then ask yourself what this sex fiend would have done had he lived today and used social media to lure his victims into his sadistic lair.

Marquis de Sade – (2 June 1740 – 2 December 1814) –  born Donatien Alphonse François, the poster boy for S & M, lived only a couple of hundred years ago. Knowing what I know about the Marquis, that’s a little too close for me. de Sade wasn’t a masochist – he was a sadist. Technically, if you’re going to have a true sadomasochistic relationship or encounter with a partner, then at least one of you has to really be into receiving pain and one of you has to really want to give it. You can switch it up of course, so long as this is a mutual relationship. de Sade however wasn’t about mutuality. He victimized people and tortured them cruelly. Creepy dude.

His sexual pathologies may not entirely have been his fault.  When he was 4, de Sade was a very spoiled child with a nasty temper. He once beat the French prince so severely that he was sent to the south of France to stay with his uncle. Think about that. When a 4-year-old child beats another kid nearly to death, doesn’t that suggest to you that something is very wrong? Whether genetic, or learned, or what the hell happened, this was one messed up little boy. Fortunately, when he was 6 years old, his uncle taught him all about debauchery (amorality). That was helpful. When he was ten years old he was terribly whipped while attending school for misbehavior. Not surprisingly, this punishment affected him for the rest of his life. Perhaps that’s where the whole S&M thing began.

marquis-de-sade-10de Sade was known to be a libertine – the polite word for slut and an undesirable slut at that. de Sade was not only a sadist; in his spare time he wrote books that included fiction and philosophy, and plays and all kinds of literature. Justine and 120 Days of Sodom (about horrific sex orgies) are among his most infamous. Surprisingly, he is known for his erotic work, pornography, sexual fantasies emphasizing criminal violence and lots of blasphemy against (here it comes) the Catholic Church. He loathed morality and all things spiritual. If it had rules attached to it, de Sade had no use for it. Oh did I mention that the uncle he lived with as a child was an abbot in the Catholic church?

A man of disguise, as a young adult de Sade was known to behave like a true aristocrat; he liked theatre, the arts, he was a good reader, and like all aristocratic men of the time, he kept a mistress. I doubt she stuck around when the fun really got going however. He probably went through a few of them.

However it’s all fun and games de Sade style until his sexual perversions got him his last 13 years in an insane asylus. Yep, asylum. And while he was in there, he had some type of relationship with a guard’s 13-year-old daughter. That crafty de Sade. He even completed a manuscript about an inmate who is “persecuted and assassinated under the direction of the Marquis de Sade.”

This man adapted well to his circumstances. de Sade wasn’t truly nuts by the legal definition. There is no such thing as insanity – that is a legal term. Psychiatrists politely term a person with a “break from reality” as psychotic. I haven’t studied de Sade so I can’t attest to whether or not he fit the definition of a psychotic but I doubt it. Sadistic, yes, but he seemed to know what he was doing when he did it; he didn’t experience audial or visual hallucinations, he wasn’t paranoid; he had no delusions of grandeur. He was dangerous, not crazy. What happens when a person’s beliefs and behaviors offend the majority of the populace? They are deemed sick or psychotic and imprisoned.

Now fast forward to the 21st century and social media. Imagine de Sade with a cell phone, a computer, and an internet connection. Yikes. I don’t know how many people he victimized in the 18th century, but I’d bet that number would be a lot higher in the 21st century. Do you think he would have set up a site where he would sell sexual services online? What would he name it I wonder?  Perhaps he would offer a webcam for those who like to watch. Or actual in-person meetings for those who wish to take it a step further. The problem is, these people would never be seen alive again. A serial rapist trolled successfully for victims on Match.com named Jeffrey Marsalis (rather similar to Marquis). The Craigslist Killer made international headlines. These were terrible men. Nonetheless, these two social media monsters would have had nothing on de Sade in terms of social media crime, had he been alive today.

April 20, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Because You’re Worth It


You know that cool L’Oreal Preference hair colour commercial where the spokes model (usually one beautiful celebrity or another) encourages women to spend the money on quality hair colour (that’s a matter of opinion), and star makes that cool statement, “Because you’re worth it.” I love that statement. Are we worth it? Damned right.

catThe idea I am leading up to is this: you’re also familiar with the program Vanity Insanity, an examination of the plastic surgery craze that has swept the nation in the past 10 or so years. Of course you’ve probably googled the internet and seen utterly terrifying pics of before and after procedures that have gone wrong. Worse, there are women and men who believe their bizarre appearance is an improvement on their natural looks. That’s what I call insanity.

640px-Marilyn_Monroe_-_publicityI know this isn’t funny but, having a warped sense of humour, I can’t help myself. Combine that sentence with some disastrous cosmetic surgery photographs, and consider what a unique advertisement to go plastic that would be. If you were a plastic surgeon who was actually proud of her/his work and didn’t see anything wrong with an utterly horrifying job, that could be rather humorous. To that end, here is my suggested commercial campaign to all of you surgeons and vanity insanity wannabes out there who just don’t have a sane perspective on so-called surgical improvements to one’s appearance:


Because, You’re Worth It…..




February 5, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Dry Drowning and Internal Suffocation Happens Easier than You’d think


This isn’t the time of year for this stuff, but I read some interesting information about dry drowning recently. It was creepy yet informative. There are all kinds of ways to die of dry drowning. Most victims are children.

flesh eating bacteria finalDry drowning , or secondary drowning or near drowning, happens when a person inhales water into the lungs. He doesn’t have to be submerged into water for long. In fact, she can jump in and out of a pool and end up dying of dry drowning. Occasionally dry drowning can happen in the bathtub.  But sometime within the next 24 hours their lungs start a massive inflammatory reaction to the water they inhaled into their lungs. In these rare situations, the larynx (voice box) spasms and stays shut, causing involuntary suffocation.  Sometimes this spasm is triggered by water droplets hitting the larynx, or a sudden high-speed submersion under water such as off a high-dive or a high-speed water slide.

This is what happens:

Let’s say a child coughs and hacks up water in a pool. The child has a bit of a coughing fit and seems to be fine. However what has often happened is some water gets into the child’s lungs. Occasionally dry drowning can happen in the bathtub. The kid seems fine, walking around, eating, etc. Then suddenly the child literally drops dead or her parents put her bed at night and she never wakes up.

Case in point: Johnny Jackson, a 10-year-old American boy from South Carolina, recently died at home on Sunday from “dry drowning” more than an hour after going swimming. He had a coughing fit in a pool then walked home with his mother and sister. Within the hour, Jackson was dead. Jackson’s mother made the sad comment that, “I’ve never known a child could walk around, talk, speak and their lungs be filled with water.”

Jackson got water in his lungs while he was swimming in a local pool. He didn’t show any signs of respiratory distress, but he had an accident in the pool and “soiled himself.”  Sometimes a child may experience vomiting instead of defecating. Both may be symptoms of dry drowning.

Dry drowning can also be a type of suffocation. Water, or a different chemical such as a toxic gas, makes contact with the larynx.  The larynx swells up as a reaction to the water that has reached the lungs. Where toxins are concerned, they replace oxygen in the lungs, resulting in internal suffocation. This is why Hitler’s Nazis gassed Jews, and how it worked. More gas than oxygen inside the “showers” (an ironic name) suffocated these people. By the millions.

CO_toxicity_symptoms_(en)Another example of dry drowning via gas is the inhalation of carbon monoxide. You know, that colorless, tasteless, odorless gas that fills a room in a house, or a car that is idling in a garage. If enters the bloodstream and decreases oxygen levels,  essentially starving the organs of its unsuspecting victims. Corpses of people who die of carbon monoxide poisoning have an orange or red tinge to them; a dead (pun) giveaway that the culprit was carbon monoxide gas.

The good news is, it’s easy to prevent carbon monoxide poisoning. A couple received a carbon monoxide detector as a gift and the detector went off. They called 911. The fire department arrived, found readings of 28 parts per million and determined dirty pilots on the kitchen stove were the cause of the problem. To prevent further problems, the couple purchased a new gas kitchen stove with electronic ignition and sealed burners. This story had a happy ending. No lives ended.






January 9, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Comely Cougars and Cagey Catches

Okay, in my defense I have never cougar-ed before. And this situation didn’t begin as a tawdry, one-night stand after having met at a bar or some such thing. It all began innocently enough, I swear. Let me explain before you roll your eyes in self-righteous morality and indignation. My very heterosexual and very sexy, lover-to-be heterosexual hairdresser’s name is Ryan (not true at all – I’m obviously not going to print his real name). He has a beautiful common-law wife with big boobs with whom he has purchased a home. They have a pet. They are engaged to be married next year. Already I can feel my female readers sharpening their claws. Listen, I am not at all interested in breaking up their relationship. And Ryan isn’t stupid enough to walk out on his pretty wife for a woman 16 years older than him. Hear me out, would ya?

sexRyan is sexy, 33, tall and thin, dark-haired with the sexiest male voice I have ever heard in my life. He is in the business of making beautiful women even more beautiful and he loves every minutes of his work. It all started when I visited the salon for the second time, I believe it was. He was working on a younger woman’s hair. It was long and black. He had styled it with these large, loose curls. He ran his fingers through it from root to tip to arrange it and the whole time he was telling her things like, “you look like Kim Kardashian,” and “your boyfriend won’t be able to stay away from you,” in that sultry voice. I think Ryan was having a hard time staying away from her and keeping his hands in her hair. I have a feeling he walks around with a semi half the day. Sweet Jesus.

While his adorable junior hairstylist, Dennis (of courbabe051207se that’s not his real name), was working on my hair I began flirting with Ryan. I couldn’t take my eyes off of watching him run his hands through that woman’s hair. And that voice. Ryan could make someone as homely as Courtney Love think she’s beautiful. In fact, he could make the fat lady at the circus think she was hot. I believe you get the idea.

My third visit was unexpected. I asked Ryan to do my hair (stop that, you – the drapes are unique – there is no carpet). I liked his technique better than Dennis’, who is still learning how to style hair (although to his credit, he did an awesome purple shade for me and I’ve lost count of how many strangers have told me they love it). But I digress. Ryan gave me this orgasmic, oops, organic massage while he was washing and conditioning my hair. He took his time about it too. So I took his hand and placed it on my breast. Dennis saw that. He was cutting a client’s hair at the time. He grinned and shook his head then said, “I didn’t see anything.” In other words, discretion rules in this salon. Perfect for a woman like me.

That was all I needed, and apparently all Ryan needed too. Since then we have decided to become lovers. Or at least sex buddies. Whichever. I haven’t done him yet. pinIt’s a matter of time. I won’t crowd him because that’s psychotic. And I can’t pay for a hairstyle every day because that’s expensive. The waiting makes the temptation even sweeter – and more agonizing. There’s something to be said for self-discipline. Who knew? I don’t feel at all bad that I am doing a married man and a man who is 16 years my junior. Men have been having sex with younger women since the dawn of time. Why can’t we?

And that, everyone, is the story about how I became a shameless and active cougar. Stay tuned. There will be a follow-up. I can assure you of that. p.s. obviously the bombshells in this blog aren’t me. I merely add them for visual effect. After all, this whole steamy escapade began with a mirror and a magazine.

December 20, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Stupid Financial Advice that will put You in the Poor House

1Canadian%20Money%20Rainbow%20-%20Jonathan%20Hayward-Canadian%20Press. Buy low, sell high.  Oh really? Are you a stock market aficionado? Can you play the stocks along with the best? Even the pros cannot manage the market with perfect timing. The odds of doing this consistently are incredibly low. That means you have to be buying straight stocks rather than mutual funds or a GIC or even Savings Bonds and keeping an eye on how they’re doing. I wish you luck with that. Usually mutual funds or ETFs are the way to go for the middle-class investor. Affluent to wealthy people may have more leeway but even the affluent need a good financial advisor when investing their hard-earned cash.

2. Follow the 1/3 rule. The 1/3 rule in a nutshell: to invest your money in a supposedly wise manner, invest 1/3 of your income in a high risk venture, 1/3 in a moderate risk and 1/3 in a low risk. Seriously? Let’s consider a high risk. Someone wants you to give them a few start-up bucks to open up a restaurant, promising you a significant return, maybe even a long-term venture together. Everyone knows the restaurant business is notoriously unstable. If you are a millionaire, go ahead with the 1/3 rule. Otherwise, what are you thinking? Invest 90% of your funds in low-risk and maybe the rest in moderate – high risk. You can’t afford the risks.

3. Always get a private financial investor or stock broker. Don’t be stupid. That’s like saying always trust a used car salesman.You might be lucky to find a good one and they are out there, but most brokers are in it to win it for themselves. Generally speaking major banks are the way to go. They also have an agenda of course, but there are so many people investing through banks that your likelihood of a good return is significantly higher than investing through someone whose eye is more on her own commission than on your financial well-being. Besides they might be pushing a specific product and that is ridiculously misleading.

4. Open a credit card account but don’t use your card so you can build up a good credit rating. Of course you will use that card. And often. You will tell yourself it’s only for emergencies but your definition of emergency will be pretty lax once you realize how easy it is to pull out that card and ch-ch-charge it!

5. Nix a written financial plan. Okay so you won’t reach every goal you have on the plan, it’s more of a forecast than 10 financial commands written in stone. A good financial plan however offers room for flexibility and allows for set-backs. It is updated regularly to suit your goals and financial situation. You need it and you need a good, certified financial planner to help you make one.

6. Ignore undervalued stocks. This may be smart but an undervalued stock that has good potential to rise is a different story. Your financial advisor at your bank or your certified financial planner (whom you have checked out and are satisfied with his or her credentials) should be able to advise you on this one.

7. Canadian-Currency1Hire an investor without recognizing significant personal and professional characteristics. A good advisor is patient, understands human needs, has no hidden agenda, has strong, verifiable credentials and is without bias.

8. Ignore your retirement needs, it will all take care of itself. This one is huge. you have to do the math in order to predict what you will need to live on comfortably when you retire. You need to allow for the cost of living, inflation, recession, ill-health, the duration of your mortgage payments, and the age you want to be when you retire. These aren’t fun facts but they’re important. You need to invest in an RRSP or ETF portfolio you are willing to buy and hold, or some such thing and contribute to it with every pay check.. It is never too early (or too late if you haven’t begun) to start planning for your retirement. Seriously. That even applies to people who are fresh out of university or college and are still in their 20’s. The sooner the better.

9. An RESP for your kids shouldn’t be a priority. Well, if you cannot invest in your child’s education and your child has to apply for a bank loan or a government loan, the world won’t stop turning. Most of us had to pay for our own schooling. It was tough, but we did it. However one of the best gifts you can give your child is an education and if you can do it, then why not? The sooner you invest in an RESP, the better. It doesn’t have to be a large investment. I started investing for my 6-year-old daughter with only $25 a month since, as a single mother on a $40,000.00 a year income and no child support, that was all I could afford. I increased it to $50 a month only after she reached about the age of 13. It was the best I could do. However, in Ontario the government matches RESP investments dollar for dollar up to $4,000.00 annually. By the time she was ready for college at the age of 18, I had close to $6,000.00 for her, more than enough to pay for a 2-year college program. Who knew?

10. TFSA’s aren’t as financially sound as RRSPs. Not so. The proper use of a TFSA (tax-free savings account) is to hold your money in it for as long as possible. Investing then withdrawing on a regular basis will lead to taxation and that renders it useless. However, sometimes you may need to cash in your TFSA for an emergency fund. It’s a small tax shelter when used properly. It’s great as an emergency savings plan or for a relatively short-term goal, such as a purchase you wish to make within 5 years of opening the account. It’s wise to take advantage of this investment on a short-term basis. If you’re looking for a retirement fund however, RRSPs or ETFs that are comprised mostly of mutual funds are the best way to go. RRSPs tend to be good starter investments for the new investor but they are also very reliable for the middle-class investor who has little risk room.

11. You always need lots of diversity in your mutual funds. Not necessarily. The “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” mentality is a smart one but a more experienced investor doesn’t invest in hundreds of stocks via mutual funds. Those that are tried and true can be highly beneficial and relatively risk-free.

12. Renting your home is throwing money away. Nonsense. It is true that a house is a long-term investment and that home ownership gives a person a feeling of accomplishment. But renting isn’t throwing money away. Going to a casino and gambling away your pay check is throwing money away. if you aren’t in a position to buy, and that may always be the case, there are other ways to invest your money so you won’t be house-poor or cash-poor. When you can’t rent for significantly less than you can own, that can be a more sensible move than buying a home. At least you don’t have to panic when a recession hits, and recession will hit. It is inevitable, especially with financial trading and national economy going more global than ever. Besides, you are locked in to your mortgage and your location when you buy a house. And you are responsible for your own yard work and the repair and maintenance of your own home. Meh. Flip a coin. To each her own.

I’m sure you know of other tips to avoid bad investing (or missing out on good investing). I’d love to hear from you to add them to my list.







August 24, 2014 Posted by | Finance | , , , , | 5 Comments

Eating Insects isn’t a Foreign Delicacy

ladybugDid you know that you consume at least 1 lb of insects and other animal parts every year? I’m not kidding. Never mind the mites that you inhale when you’re asleep, snoring away, or the tiny insects that work their way into your mouth and nasal passages whether you’re asleep or awake. I’m talking about your food.

It’s all about globalization and sustainability. You’ve seen those documentaries that show different countries around the world pan-frying and sauteing all kinds of creepy-crawlies in restaurants and outside at food markets. They serve everything from ants to maggots to god-knows-what. And people eat them! Not just locals either. Tourists like to bravely give it a go. Lots of people love them and eat them on a regular basis. Sounds gross, right?

Well, with the population explosion continuing unabated, we’re simply running out of food. Where will it come from? So many thriving insects that are edible and some people swear, quite delicious, they are a highly efficient and plausible diet staple. And except for the Arctic and Antarctic, they are available virtually anywhere on this earth. They claim 30% of our land surface. Yikes. Greenhouse gas emissions could be reduced by 18% if insects became a staple in our diets. Yum-yum. Right now, most of us turn up our noses at the thought of consuming insects. Within the next couple of decades however, eating insects will be as commonplace as eating hotdogs and bread.

You might consider yourself a vegetarian but you’re eating meat whether you like it or not. Carnivore that you are, inside your food, and that can be anything from the tiny leafy growths on apples and strawberries, all the way to hamburger meat, a minute amount of insects is legally permitted in your food by the FDA, otherwise, you’d never eat! Insects rule the soil where all our food is pretty much grown so it’s unavoidable to get away from them. And what do cows graze on all day long? Naturally you’d have to expect partly undigested insects in hamburger meat but they’re so tiny you don’t know they’re there.

There are 6 million species of insects. To put that into perspective there are only a few hundred species of animals. Like it or not, they’ve got us surrounded. Insects rule the world. A good thing too: insects eat feces, they pollinate our flowers and crops, and they feed many animal species, including birds and bats. We need insects. They were here long before we were and it’s likely they’ll be here long after we finish destroying our Earth.

It gets worse: fly eggs, rodent hair and feces are also permitted in your food. What_a_324_inscThis may seem like a cruel joke or perhaps an attempt to wipe out the entire human population while being able to claim it was all due to natural causes, but the reason is simple: it is impossible to produce, package and distribute food without coming into contact with parts of  insect and animal byproducts, or the entire insect itself. The FDA states that impurities such as these in reasonable amounts don’t pose health hazards. Mind you, the FDA only inspects 2% of our food. That certainly puts their “inspections” into a different light.

Here’s an example of food and insects that are okay with the FDA: canned mushrooms are packaged with a small amount of maggots. Ground oregano is permitted a small percentage of ground insects. And if more than 5% weight of sesame seeds is due to insects then and only then will the FDA take action.

There are those who swear that eating insects will save our earth. I guess it makes sense. Insects don’t require any processing. Cooking them is healthy and pollution-free when done in small amounts. There is such a thing as cricket flour. Eventually insects may even become snack food.

Now that you’re totally grossed out, here’s one consolation: insects aren’t bad for you. In fact many people swear they add nutritional value to the human diet. Well, they are high in protein, zinc, iron and certain vitamins. Myself, I’d prefer not to think about that when I’m eating. I simply won’t indulge in microscopic eyeglasses anytime soon.

August 24, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | Leave a comment

Why not just leave her at the Altar?



Honestly I think that would have been less painful and humiliating than what article-2727808-209C84E000000578-106_634x422this jerk did to his fiancée. An American 23-year-old man named Tucker Blandford called up his lovely fiancée, Alex Lanchester, who lived in London, England, and faked being his own father. He sadly informed Lanchester that his son had taken his own life because he had been depressed. He stated that Blandfield had stepped out in front of a car. Sad day, no? Well actually, no.

Lanchester contacted Blandford’s mother to offer her condolences and discovered Mrs. B had no idea what Lanchester was talking about. Blandford’s purpose? He didn’t want to get married after all. Lanchester had already invest about $1,200.00 American in the wedding-to-not-be, and Blandford was probably trying to get out of reimbursing her, although he has since paid his half of the expenses.

Lanchester met Blandford in August 2012 while studying in the US. She met Blandford at the campus cinema in the University of Connecticutt. It was love at first sight, or so it seemed. Lanchester told the press: ‘Tucker was such a gentleman and was always buying me dinner and beautiful article-2727808-209C84DC00000578-229_634x677vintage jewellery. I’d never been in love like that before. Every Sunday he would take me out for pancakes, it was so sweet. And to celebrate the day we got together, on the 10th of each month we would go out for a posh dinner. The worst thing was the idea that one day I would have to leave him and go back to England. The thought of that was breaking my heart.’

Lanchester organized her dream wedding and set a date on August 15, 2014. She bought a handmade dress from eBay She even agreed to pay for Blandford to fly to Britain to help with the wedding:I went all out even though I had hardly any money. In the weeks running up to his visit I was mad with excitement.”

For his part, Blandford told a reporter: ‘I’m a terrible, awful person. I know I shouldn’t have told her I was dead, but I didn’t know what else to do. Alex is an amazing girl but I got scared and wanted to get out of the relationship. It was moving extremely fast and with us being in different countries, it was really hard.”

The only really hard thing to understand is Blandford’s lousy move when he ended his engagement to Lanchester. Lucky for Lanchester she didn’t end up married to the jerk.  I’ve heard of shitty break-ups before but this one tops the wedding cake.




August 19, 2014 Posted by | Bizarre yet True, Relationships | , , | Leave a comment


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