40 years of faulty wiring

When Passing a Test is Failing

I’ve never had to worry about passing a drug test.  I’ve never taken a job, gone to work, driven a car, or sat around in rehab worrying about the illicit toxins in my system. I have consumed a legal drug, alcohol, a time or two (but not whilst drinking).  I happened upon an interesting site that gleefully offered not only information, but a number of synthetic products guaranteed to help those with a drug addiction to pass a drug test. The products help a drug user to fool the four main types of drug tests, being urine, hair follicle, blood and saliva. To wit there are shampoos to remove traces of drugs from your hair; bottles of “ultra-pureurine (I’m not kidding, although the synthetic stuff doesn’t smell like the real thing…gross); marijuana home test kits; marijuana detox kits; alcohol strip saliva tests; “ultra-pureblood kits; and products for random drug tests. It’s eerily similar to starting drugs in the first place:  whatever you need, they’ve got it.

This site is disturbing on two levels:

  1. Why are we helping drug addicts to pass drug tests?
  2. What do we gain and what do we lose when we keep drug addicts in positions of responsibility?

Some jobs that are particularly worrisome where drug users are concerned include: surgeons, forest workers, transport people, construction workers, people who have your life in their (shaky) hands. That’s scary stuff.

Consider the many other situations where drug addiction is truly frightening:

  1. a drug-addicted expectant mother
  2. a drug-addicted mother
  3. a drug-addicted father
  4. a drug-addicted transient
  5. a drug-addicted criminal

A transient or a foster-child teen may not be a danger to others, but the potential to become a criminal in order to maintain a drug supply is high (pun). And we don’t want even “harmless” people walking about high. They do stupid things like step in front of oncoming cars without looking. They start stupid fights with other high, transient people. Criminals and transients make a community less valued and less safe.  The majority of criminals and transients are drug users and always will be.

In case you are loathe to use a synthetic product to alter your drug tests, there is a 1999 Drug Detection Times chart published by the Nationa Institute on Drug Abuse  that provides information as to how various drugs stay in your system. The chart is well-intended: it isn’t intended to provide you with the knowledge to pass a drug test. It provides information as to how much time must pass after using before you can safely go to work, care for a child, walk down the street and chew gum at the same time.

Drug detection time in urine is expressed in upper and lower boundaries.  For instance, if you are an infrequent, small-dose user, the detection test places you in the lower boundaries.  For heavy, regular users, the upper boundaries are the results. Overweight people are more prone to getting caught as drugs linger longer in fatty tissue. Aging and chronically ill people are also likely to get a positive test result. Urine tests isolate four factors: pH levels, colour, creatin levels and temperature. Oddly, methods such as eating red meat, sex, taking vitamin B-12, increasing creatine levels, and mixing a detox drink, have been tried and proven successful in avoiding detection, but only in urine (again, not in everyone).

Having said that, everyone’s drug reaction is different. Some people may hold traces of marijuana for up to two months in their systems. Some may retain trace amounts of cocaine for weeks, others for hours.  It depends on your physical condition, age, usage, weight, and whether or not you eat regularly. Some people believe that drinking large amounts of water, or using a diuretic, will purge their system of drugs but this isn’t so. There are drug users who substitute their urine with another person’s, however this deception isn’t always accurate: temperature is critical.

The argument for using synthetic products and passing a drug test is feeble: the test only measures what you have previously done with drugs and not whether you are currently using. A peculiar sort of logic, but it manages to evade the law.

Bottom line: the best way to avoid failing a drug test, losing your job, your spouse, your child?  Don’t use.


September 26, 2012 - Posted by | Bizarre yet True, Career, corrruption, Crime and Punishment, Health and Wellness, Human psychology | , , , , , , , , ,


  1. This is something I find extremely funny to the point that my stomach hurts from laughing so much. First let me THANK MY PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS, and even my GREAT grandparents and aunts and uncles for being good CHRISTIAN EXAMPLES, second let me stop laughing long enough to say how pitiful it is that the new age drug coma hippie era (even before that time) who came from bad gene pools and had (supposedly pure) drugs that were supposedly more “natural” like opium, cocain, herione, marijuana etc, (also caused low birth rates, declined morality, bankruptcy, low education standards, higher birth defects etc etc etc and were bullies in school) whose kids and grandkids are now dying or nearly dying from the “synthetic” versions of what the parents originally got access to by any means necessary, seems so justified. I don’t weep for what they do to their own children but I do weep that their children are punished for the natural stupidty of the parents as everyone else gets punished too. It’s never fair too punish someone ELSE for your inconsideration or immorality. you lack the heart to do what’s right so your children get punished for it because you make every excuse to not have guilt on a concious you SHOULD and are SUPPOSED to have. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility to clean up your crap. Every THING on GOD’s (used to be) green earth knows how to reproduce (including quasimodo) but it takes Jesus Christ as the foundation of a marriage to make a man and a woman into a husband, a wife, a father, and a mother, not just mommy and daddy. GOOD trees produce good fruit, bad trees produce bad fruit, you will know them by their fruit, Christians produce disciples, non-christians produce food for idols, non-christians worship drugs, money, sex, alcohol, anything other than God Almighty. not that hard to figure this out.

    Comment by ColdcruelReality | April 26, 2013 | Reply

    • I don’t disagree. Unfortunately, there are many parents in this world who defend their childrens’ rights to misbehave at school, mistreat teachers and peers, disregard legal authority, and somehow place blame for their children’s actions elsewhere. That’s where it often starts.

      Comment by gothrules | April 26, 2013 | Reply

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