40 years of faulty wiring

How to be Extremely Vain and Like it

Many of us believe Shakespeare actually penned the saying, “vanity, thy name is woman.” As a matter of fact, the line from Hamlet is “frailty, thy name is woman.” Personally I’m more impressed with the former. watch easy does it, ladies What’s wrong with Vanity?  Vanity is the ultimate manner in loving and accepting yourself.  Isn’t that what healthy, self-assured people do? I don’t mean the kind of vanity where you fool yourself into believing you are something or will achieve something you obviously can’t or won’t put the effort into….wasting your time on delusion is stupid. Vanity is pride in your appearance, your face, body, fashion, personal style. watch how to be well-groomed  It is pride in your intelligence and personal accomplishments.  These things are a little harder to advertise so they must be casually dropped into a conversation at every possibility.  Here’s a few more tips on how to be extremely vain and like it:

  1. never leave the house without every hair in place from head to toe…..self-explanatory. watch shocking 1950s commercial
  2. always name-drop
  3. accept compliments easily
  4. when people ask what you do, elaborate and sprinkle a little bling on it (you may wish to exercise caution on this one if your surname is Ponzi.)
  5. develop your own signature style from an era that most appeals to you …  personally I like pin-up girl couture from the 1940’s and 50’s.  It’s work to keep up with it every day but the compliments feel soooo good.   watch vixen pin up photography
  6. A colleague insisted I have a lot of money because of all the clothes she sees me in every day….usually I’ve added a piece of my wardrobe no one has seen before so it appears as though my surname is actually Trump. Bliss. watch miss universe winners 1960 – 1969
  7. never stop learning….Vanity means acknowledging to yourself that you don’t know everything (but you wouldn’t say that out loud)  watch social class in america and when you sign on for a new course make sure people know about it. watch habit patterns 1954
  8. never stop earning …. the more you make, the more you can spend and stash cash for the inevitable, dreaded retirement. watch 1972 avon commercial
  9. always mention places you have been.  Once a colleague casually mentioned he’d been in some country somewhere skydiving and mentioned the spectacular view from the air.  Everyone was impressed.  It’s not bragging.  It’s Vanity. watch women know your limits
  10. when making an impression, know when to quit. A colleague of mine showed up driving a Nissan Altima ( a car I’ve always liked) and mentioning he spent $400.00 on his girlfriend for her birthday.  I was impressssed.  Then he blew it by admitting it was his parent’s car and he wouldn’t be spending $400.00 on her ever again since he really couldn’t afford it.  What’s the point in that? watch the snob 1958
  11. get every nip and tuck you need but don’t be an idiot like this woman.
  12. Hit the fitness scene often …. you don’t have to have a gym membership to be svelte and strong, just make sure you exercise that bod daily.  Make you a priority and that is as wonderfully Vain as you can get. watch 1949 exercise and health
  13. Be a food snob. Eat sickeningly healthy food… never lower yourself to eat junk food.
  14. Spend, spend, spend. Buy what you want, step out in style, stop saving for a rainy day … what does that even mean anyway? watch queen for a day
  15. Build the largest bling collection of anyone you know.
  16. Shoes. You can never have enough.  watch prevent foot pain when wearing high heels
  17. look rich on a modest budget…..buy relatively inexpensive blouses, look for skirts and slacks on sale, and accessorize with your own signature jewellery – that is the huge move to make yourself look put together.  Above the neck is essential. Simple, classic (cheap) wear polished off with bling, every day, don’t miss a day, and great makeup.  watch grooming essentials for women 1956
  18. now go out and preen.  Preen like a peacock….Vanity’s mascot. watch 1947 are you popular

August 5, 2012 - Posted by | Health and Wellness, Pop Culture |

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