40 years of faulty wiring

Dear Abby Answers Divorce Questions

Remember Dear Abby?  I don’t know her credentials (the real one probably didn’t have any) but her column is so successful it’s been around for 50 years or more.  While we’re on the subject of marriage and divorce here are a few questions to Dear Abby that intrigued me:

Dear Abby:

I married the love of my life, “Simon,” a year ago. At the time, I was five months pregnant. While Simon and I stood taking our vows at the altar, his mother, “Bernice,” stood up and announced that the reason we were being married was because I was pregnant. When plans were made to celebrate Simon’s college graduation Bernice made dinner reservations for everyone except me. Simon’s response was, “I can’t control my mother.Abby, I was so fed up with my husband that I kicked him out. What can I do?

Whether or not your marriage is salvageable is up to your husband. You married a man with an impossible, domineering and hostile mother. Because Simon hasn’t accepted his own responsibility in the conception of this child, he has allowed his mother to portray you as the tramp who tricked him into fatherhood. There is nothing you can do.  Moral: Ladies, stay away from Mama’s boys (fits in nicely with the Ed Gein story). watch monster-in-law

Dear Abby:

My husband, “Gene,” and I both wanted children, and our daughter was born in 2001. Gene was brought up old-fashioned, he decided I was to stay at home and care for the house and kids while he worked. We’d argue and the result was my being choked. One time, he broke my nose.  I left for good six weeks ago. Abby,  would it be a slap in the face if Gene and I worked out our differences and forgot about the past?

It could be a slap in the face; it could also be a broken jaw. Nowhere in your letter did you mention that he has any desire to change. Because your 4-year-old daughter knows no different, she thinks her daddy’s behavior is normal. It is urgent that she learn it is not normal, and it’s your job to teach her that lesson by example. Moral: Punching bags belong in the gym, not in the house. watch  spousal abuse is no joke

Dear Abby:

I’m a single man who has never married. I fell in love with a divorced mother of two who told me while we were dating that she’d been having an affair with a man I’ll call “Rex.” She recently confided to me that Rex came over during Easter and they’d had sex. We no longer date, but I still have strong feelings for her. How can I help her? 

Help her? Has it occurred to you this woman may be happy the way things are? She knows there’s no future with this man, but she allows this on-again, off-again affair to continue. Rather than trying to get her head out of the clouds, how about working on your own? You can’t “save” someone who doesn’t want to be saved. Moral: There’s a sucker born every minute. Watch how you win when your mate cheats

Dear Abby:

After six years of marriage my wife, “Chanelle,” demanded a separation. She said she needed time to “find herself.” She forgot to mention that she was having an affair with a subordinate at work, “Earl.”  Suddenly she wanted me back. She used a string of lies to cover her activities, so I’m having trust issues. Both sets of in-laws are trying to sabotage the marriage. Can this marriage be saved?

Absolutely, provided you and your wife are willing to work out your problems in marriage counseling. You must explore what drove you apart and fix it. Do not blame your parents for their attitude, or your in-laws. If you and Chanelle make it clear nothing will come between you, they’ll come to accept it. Moral: Apparently there’s someone out there for everyone. Watch cheating spouses

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June 4, 2011 - Posted by | Relationships | , , , , , , ,

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