40 years of faulty wiring

Pathetic, Petty Patents

The Chin Putter– just what it sounds like. I love the purpose for this thing: The present invention relates to a linear putter device of a golf club, wherein the golf club is moved in a linear manner, to hit the golf ball in a linear manner. Perhaps you’ll land in a linear position after you attempt a linear putt with the chin putter?

Anti-Eating Mask (It worked for Hannibal Lecter). Finally an answer to the current obesity stats.  An anti-eating face mask… includes a cup-shaped member conforming to the shape of the mouth and helmet straps engageable with a user’s head. Watch Wacky Patents – 5:56  or you could just sew your lips shut Wacky Patents – 6:12

Motorized ice cream cone – Eat empty calories and refuse to burn any calories at the same time. A drive mechanism for rotating the cup and rotationally feeding its contents against a person’s outstretched tongue. If you’re going to sit in public with an “outstretched tongue” you’ve got more to worry about than licking an ice cream. Watch Motorized ice cream cone with Kathie Lee

Binocular Flask While we’re on the topic of food let’s add a beverage to the mix.  Perfect gift for the golf course, baseball games, football stadiums, or anywhere you need a little pick me up. Perhaps not for the office, gentlemen … unless there’s a woman’s fitness club across the street. Watch Binocular Flask with Kathie Lee

Smoker’s Hat – yeah that looks cool.  Wouldn’t you love to blow your own smoke into your face?  A portable hat enables  smoking without affecting the environment and air flowing in front of the smoker’s face. Tres chic. Watch Wacky Patents – 5:27 

frameless glasses– look ma, no clue.  A frameless glassware assembly attaching to body piercing studs.  Don’t worry. The studs aren’t permanent. The damage to your reputation is permanent.

Back Trigger Point Instrument  This one is wrong on so many levels.  Enabling the patient to engage the skin on his or her back to locate trigger points using a source of pulsed voltage. Suggestion:  not for use in the shower.

Human Sex Table  To be used prior to the apparatus for facilitating child birth with centrifugal force I should imagine. The eccentric rotation of the cam roller is converted to linear motion, (more linear) causing the platform to move back and forth on rollers.When you’re too lazy to do your own linear motion give it up and go celibate already. And on that note: watch man caught having sex with picnic table.  The picnic table is for those who can’t afford the sex table I should think

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June 2, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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