40 years of faulty wiring

Ban Obese Kids from Eating Happy Meals

I read a pressed post today called the BAN of the Happy Meal (guess who they’re referring to). SF started an initiative but it’s unlikely to have a significant effect on consumers.

Gen Y  doesn’t take responsibility for it’s actions. Consider these remarkably stupid kids who sued McD’s for their weight gain: Overweight Teens File Fat Lawsuit Against McDonald’s. OMG.

Who’s fault is that?  Here is yet another oddball reason for not eating at McDonald’s or any other fast food pit. Bloody good meal I’d say.  And if this one wasn’t so tragic I’d almost laugh. You know what’s truly sad? The parents probably picked the kid up, put his lifeless body into the trunk then went inside, ordered their quarter pounder cheese combo, and then called an ambulance.

Certainly U.S. doctors are well intentioned by targeting McD’s as a leading cause of heart attacks.  But releasing commercials about people dropping dead won’t discourage consumers from eating at McD’s. It’s not harsh enough. Watch PCRM’s Consequences commercial. 

McDonald’s, not to be outdone released this commercial in Japan, brilliant in its sarcasm and not permitted in North America in case it gives fat teenagers another excuse to sue:  Watch McDonald’s in Japan. PCRM’s Consequences commercial won’t lower McDonald’s revenues: it’s a wimpy approach when what is needed is a militant approach.

To wit:

  1. Force every human being on the planet to watch Supersize Me.
  2. Put weigh scales inside of every McDonald’s in the world and force customers to weigh in before they order a meal. If they have gained more than 5 lbs since their last visit, refuse them service.
  3. Make every customer in every McD’s whose BMI is not within their ideal range strip down to their underwear in full view of other customers, examine themselves in front of a full length (and full width) mirror before they get shown the door.
  4. Offer free McVomit sticks to young women to purge themselves of those nasty calories after their meals (okay that one’s a little reactive I admit).
  5. Using McVideos, show McD’s teenaged cooks secretly nibbling at consumer’s food before selling it to them. 
  6. Show McD’s employees leaving the washroom and not washing their hands.
  7. Using the spy camera show an employee dropping a newly fried burger on the floor, blowing on it, shrieking “3 second rule!” and slapping it into a bun for the next lucky consumer
  8. Show a video of a kid falling off the McPlayland apparatus and splitting his head open.
  9. Put plastic joke shop poo all over the chairs.
  10. Add McFart pillows to embarrass the old people.
  11. Attach computers to the tables that vocalize the number of fat grams and calories people eat along with commentary such as: “OMG! You’re going to finish that?” and “You’ve got that high school reunion coming up remember?” and my personal favourite: “OINK
  12. Ban obese people from entering McDonald’s.
  13. Buy an ACME anvil like the Coyote did, place it over all entrances and drop it on every 10th person’s head.
  14. Put up huge posters of Roseanne Barr in the nude eating a Big Mac.
  15. Run a year-long promotion featuring Find the Hair in Your Burger and Win a Free Burger (that might also have a hair)
  16. Start selling McBeer and McCigarette Combos – that will likely replace the burgers and fries for adult consumers.

Don’t expect me to feel sorry for you when you tip the scales at 200 lbs, fatty. You’re barking up the wrong tree because Lord knows you can’t climb it.

Watch video Ricky Gervais on Fat People


November 6, 2010 - Posted by | Health and Wellness | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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